Salvage
by jane0904
Summary: Next in the Mal/Freya 'verse. Badger's job looks interesting, but there's a hitch. Isn't there always? And Jayne lets out more than he intended. Oh, and on to the action. Thank you for reading, and reviews are shiny. Last two chapters of this tale up now
1. Chapter 1

"Any idea where they are?" Kaylee asked, twitching to get herself out into the sunshine of Persephone and trying to pick up the bits she needed.

Hank, leaning on the handrail on the catwalk above, grinned. "I … um … _think_ they overslept."

Kaylee turned big eyes up to him. "You mean …"

"From the noise going on in their bunk, I think Simon there probably gave them some good news."

The young mechanic turned to her husband who was crouched down doing up the little boots Bethany was wearing. "Did you?"

"What?" he asked innocently, not looking up.

"Tell Frey and Mal they could …" She paused, glancing at her daughter, then amended quickly what she was going to say. "Make a noise?" she asked.

Simon finished with the fastenings and stood Bethany onto her feet. She was managing to walk a few steps now, and she held onto his leg as he straightened up. "I never thought I'd see the day you didn't call a spade a spade," he said, smiling at his wife.

"You did." She glared at him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It wasn't any of our business."

"If'n you come out with that doctor/patient –"

"It was confidential, and it wasn't any of our business," Simon interrupted gently. "Just be glad for them."

"I am!" She put her hands on her hips. "Of course I'm glad they can get back to … making a noise. It's been worrying Freya's mind for ages."

Zoe put her gun back in its holster and nodded. "Not just Freya. The Captain's been going around like a bear with a sore … head as well."

"Never thought I'd see the day we were getting more … noise … than him," Hank said, grinning.

"Surprised you didn't hear," Jayne said to Kaylee, hitched against the cargo bay doors. "They were getting enough to wake up the whole damn planet."

"Jayne," Simon said warningly, but it was too late.

"Damn," Bethany said quietly, trying it out for size. "Damn."

"No honey," Kaylee said, going onto her heels to look into her daughter's face, but only after giving the big man a very dirty glare. "That's not nice. We don't use words like that."

"Sure we do," Jayne muttered. "'N' if that's the worse the squirt learns, figure she's luckier than the rest of us."

Bethany smiled at him. "Damn," she said.

Simon sighed. For once he agreed with Jayne, but there was no way he was going to let him know. "Shouldn't someone go and find Mal?" he asked.

"You can go and knock if you like," Zoe said. "But I'd remember that you're the only doctor on board if you did."

Simon paused for a second, the mental image of a gunblast echoing out of a hatch … "No, I think I can wait."

"Are we keeping everyone?" Freya asked, coming out of the doorway behind Hank, Mal following close behind. She had Ethan in the sling across her chest, and a smile on her face.

"I'm captain," her husband said. "I don't do late." He sauntered down the stairs. "We all here?"

"We've all been here for quite some time," Simon said.

"Really," Mal said. "One of you shoulda knocked." The look on his face suggested he and Freya had heard a deal more than it appeared.

Freya laughed. "Sorry," she said, reaching the bay floor.

"Ain't your fault," Kaylee said. "Just glad you're …"

"Noisy?"

Kaylee giggled. "Ain't that the truth."

"You know that's going to be the word for it from now on, don't you?" Freya said, nudging her.

"Yeah, but what if you pay for it?" Kaylee glanced at Jayne. "You think that could be –"

"IF we can stop talking about everyone's sex life and get back to the job in hand," Mal said, interrupting loudly. "Thank you. Now, just need to get to –"

"We're here," River said happily, stepping through from the infirmary with Jethro in tow. "Oh, good, you all waited."

Mal glared at her and she wilted a little. He sighed heavily. "Jayne, just open the damn door."

"Damn," Bethany said very quietly.

Outside they began to form into two groups.

"Now, you gonna be okay?" Mal asked, taking Freya by the arm and looking into her eyes. "Only this is your first trip off-boat since this little feller was born." He glanced down at Ethan, still asleep in the sling.

"I'm shiny," she said. "We both are."

"You get tired, you come back. _Dong mah_?"

She smiled and put her hand on his cheek. "Don't worry about us. We're all going to stick together, aren't we?" she asked, looking around at Simon and Kaylee.

"Sure are," Kaylee said reassuringly. "Gotta go buy some new duds for Bethany – I can't believe she's growing out of things so fast."

"Oh, I can," Simon said, his voice weary, thinking about the drain on his pocketbook.

"We're going to buy some clothes for Jethro," River put in, standing next to the young man in question, who blushed.

"I don't have any money. I told you that," he said softly.

"I do. You'll pay me back when you can."

"I'm not happy about this, River –"

"Son, you'd better let her have her way over this," Mal put in, smiling slightly. "Or you'll find she's bought them for you anyway. Better you get to choose not to wear a pink shirt."

"You wear pink," Freya said softly.

"It ain't pink. It's … red." He spoke very firmly.

"It may have been once, but now it's pink."

"Then maybe you'd better be getting me something, too." He grinned and leaned forward, kissing her soundly. "All right, people, we got work to do, let's go do it."

-x-

"It's a simple salvage job," Badger insisted. "You've done 'em before."

"And got gypped before," Mal said, his thumbs hitched into his gunbelt. "And why all the rush? If it's salvage, it'll be there for a mite longer."

"Not that much." Badger polished his apple on the lapel of his coat.

"Is there maybe something we don't know about this?"

"You ain't got more'n three days," the little man said. He bit into his apple, letting the juice slide down his chin before wiping it ostentatiously on his sleeve.

Mal knew what he was doing, proving that he had money to throw around on fresh fruit, money he and his didn't exactly have much of at the moment. Still, no point in getting angry about it. "Your peeler broken?" he asked.

"Seized up," Badger admitted.

"Did suggest you get it oiled more'n a while back," Mal said, his lips twitching. "Fine piece of antiquerie like that."

Badger gave him one of his '_I'm better than you'_ looks, but didn't comment. "You want this job or not?" he asked instead.

"So, Badger," Mal said, his voice sounding almost friendly. "Why haven't we got above three days to do this little bit of business for you?"

"Because in four the freighter's due to be towed to the scrap belt. Torn up." He shrugged. "Seems like the Alliance are gettin' a bit peeved about the amount of space junk out there." He grinned, showing discoloured teeth. "Better keep that pile of _gos se_ of yours movin', or you'll find yourselves in the same predicament."

It was getting close, but Mal wasn't yet at the end of his tether. "Three days."

"Pretty much. Unless they can't 'old their load and go early."

"Are you sure they don't know about the goods?" Zoe asked. "If someone's already taken it –"

"It's still there." Badger looked at her, running his eyes up and down her body. "Trust me on that, little girl."

"Trust and you ain't exactly something that usually goes together," Jayne growled.

"And there I was thinkin' you didn't like me." Badger took another huge bite of his apple, spitting fragments of pulp as he said, "So, you on?"

"We'll do it," Mal said. "Should be easy. In and out."

"Good." He swallowed and stared at the apple. "Sour," he said before tossing it away. "Still, plenty more where that came from." He smiled slyly. "Payment on delivery to my man on Beylix."

"Shiny." Mal turned then slowed as the little man continued.

"Oh, and tell Freya I'm getting' some little booties made for the kid. Although 'ow come she let you get close enough to knock her up is anybody's guess."

"True love, Badger," Mal said as he walked away. "Something I doubt you've ever experienced."

"Not unless he paid for it," Jayne added.

Outside, in the light, Zoe said, "I've got a bad feeling about this, sir."

Mal shrugged. "It's not like we got much choice," he said. "And at least the drop-off on Beylix means we can refuel and take that job from McGuinness. Might even get word back from Monty."

"Least he's trustworthy," the mercenary said. "More'n I can say for that _ching wah_ –"

"At least we know he ain't," Mal said, stopping the big man mid curse. "We know where we stand with him, which is why we're going to get that job done lickety-split." He glanced at one of the food stands, where the owner was frying some suspicious looking meat. "Sooner we get paid the sooner I'll be happy." Then maybe he'd stop feeling like he was cooking on that griddle, he considered privately.

"And if Badger ain't on the level?" Zoe asked.

"We deal with that when we get there." Mal strode on. "Just wanna get it done."


	2. Chapter 2

Despite what she'd said to Mal, Freya was feeling tired. And feeling annoyed for feeling tired. She'd sat down on the only chair in the store while Kaylee picked over the children's clothes, and sighed. She wanted to feel strong. Fit. Like she had done. Before Ethan …

He moved slightly, and she looked down into a pair of big blue eyes. Simon had said he was probably going to keep them, and she didn't mind. Just like his father.

"He's cute," a woman said, bending down. "Hold old is he?"

Freya looked up. "Three weeks."

"First baby?"

"Yes."

The young woman, probably not much older than River, smiled. "And this'll be your first trip out?"

"Mmn."

"And you're finding it hard going?" she asked astutely.

Freya smiled slightly. "Is it always like this?"

"Always." The woman grinned. "At least with my three it was." She glanced around towards a man at the back of the shop, two small children around his feet and one in his arms. "It takes a while for the body to get back to normal."

"How long?"

She laughed. "Oh, around until the next one comes along."

"I just feel like my body isn't mine any more."

"It isn't." The woman stood up. "You're designed to be a one-stop food store. Kinda ensures any woman feel pretty pointless." She smiled. "You had sex yet?"

Freya blushed, just a little, something she seemed to be doing more often since she'd got pregnant. "Actually … yes."

"Good. Best thing. Makes you feel like a woman and not just a momma."

"But I don't even look right …"

"Did that stop your man?"

"Well, no …"

The woman leaned over, her voice low, conspiratorial. "Look, this is a secret, but … if you have a man who loves you, he don't care if your belly ain't flat no more."

Freya thought back to the night before, how Mal seemed to pay particular attention to her stomach, to the fullness that she found so … "Oh."

The other woman laughed. "See, things ain't so bad as you think." She looked back at her family. "Gotta go," she said. "What's his name?"

"Ethan."

"That's a good one. And don't you worry … everything's gonna be fine."

"Thanks."

The woman grinned and hurried away.

Kaylee held up a small t-shirt. "What do you think?"

Simon looked at the price tag. "Kaylee, that's as much as _my_ shirt cost!" He was appalled. "Don't they have something cheaper?"

"Don't you want your daughter to look pretty?" Kaylee countered. "Anyway, kids' stuff's expensive. I don't know why. And you're being mean." She turned from him.

"I'm not!" Simon protested, but inside he realised she was right. "Kaylee … _bao bei_ …" He put a hand on her arm, encouraged when she didn't shrug it off. "I'd buy everything in the store for Bethany if I could," he said softly. "Even …" He looked around. "Even that horrendous t-shirt." He pointed to a putrid green monstrosity with a picture of a dancing elephant on it.

"I kinda like it," Kaylee said quietly.

"Then … then …" Simon backpedalled. "That too. It … it grows on you." He squeezed a little. "Kaylee …"

She turned and looked at him, and he was immensely relieved to see she was smiling. "Not for Bethany, though," she said, moving closer. "Maybe see if they got one in a extra-large man's size for Jayne."

Simon couldn't help it. The thought of the big mercenary wearing a T with an elephant wearing ballet shoes and a gauzy tutu printed on it … he laughed.

Kaylee joined in. "Simon, honey, I know these things cost a lot. I really do. But she grows out of stuff so quickly, and unless you think the Cap's gonna take to a little naked girl running around his ship …"

The image of Jayne was replaced by one of his daughter, sitting in her high chair, her bare bottom on the cold seat as she played with her food … "Save on cleaning," he muttered.

"That it might," his wife agreed. She looked tenderly at him. "What if we go someplace else? I'm sure I saw a secondhand store just around -"

"Someone else's?" Simon almost squeaked.

"She's wearing stuff Mrs Adams gave us right now."

"Yes, but we know her."

"Not much."

Simon shook his head. "No. You get what she needs. Right here."

Kaylee smiled and kissed him lightly. "I love my husband," she said sincerely.

"I should hope you do," Freya said, coming up behind them, a small dress in her hand. "How about this? Then when she gets too tall she can wear it with shorts."

"Ooh," Kaylee said excitedly, taking it from her. "That's a good idea!" She dropped all the other stuff she'd picked up. "And I saw the perfect pair of stretchy pants that would …" She hurried off, and Simon sighed. This was going to take a lot longer than he'd anticipated.

"Sorry," Freya said, smiling. "Thought it might help."

"That's okay," he said. "You know, time was all I had to worry about was whether I'd reattached a girl's leg properly."

"And now you have a wife and daughter who love you."

"Oh, I think I've got the best end of the bargain," he admitted, smiling. "I just can't help thinking -"

"Don't," Freya advised. "Just think of your daughter instead. Talking of which, where is she?"

Simon looked around. "Oh no," he whispered. "I was supposed to be watching her." His face went even paler than usual.

"Come on, we'll find her," Freya said, settling Ethan more comfortably. "She won't have gone far."

She hadn't. They found her two aisles along, sitting in the middle of a large group of toys, all carefully arranged so they were looking at her. She had a baby doll in her arms.

"Bethany …" Simon went down onto his knees. "What are you doing?" He started to put the toys back on the shelf.

"Ethan," Bethany said, holding out the doll. "Bed time stories." She looked down. "Once 'pon a time …"

"It's not storytime," her father said, glancing around to see if anyone was watching as he finished packing the toys back under the counter. "Not time for bed yet."

Bethany looked into his face. "Damn," she said.

Two rather respectable ladies turned at the sound, and stared. They muttered something and hurried on.

Simon closed his eyes briefly and sighed. That was it. The end of civilisation as he knew it. His child had just sworn in front of total strangers. "I'm going to kill Jayne," he murmured. He looked back at his daughter and said more firmly, "No, Bethany. You know what your Momma said. We don't -" He was trying to lift her to her feet but she was resisting.

"Damn!" This time it was louder, more piercing.

"Bethany …" Simon tried to take the doll from her arms, but she clung tightly to it.

"My Ethan," she said, tears springing to her eyes.

"Sweetheart, please …" Simon felt, as he always did when the women in his family cried, that it was all his fault.

"Simon." Freya spoke softly, and as he looked up she held out a couple of notes.

"What's that?" he asked, confused.

"I'll buy the doll."

Simon shook his head. "No. She has to understand she doesn't get everything she wants -" he began, but she interrupted him.

"She wanted them all, but she compromised," Freya pointed out. "Come on. Take it. I want to. And I'll take Bethany outside. I could do with some fresh air."

Simon stood up. "Are you okay?" he asked, putting his hand under her arm.

"Shiny." She smiled. "Just a little tired."

"It's to be expected."

"Well, I hate it," Freya said, startling the young doctor. "I can't do what I want, when I want, I look terrible …"

He was shocked. "Are you saying you don't want -"

"No!" Freya's voice was too strident. She tempered it. "No. I wouldn't give up Ethan for anything. But I wish I were back to normal too."

"You've had a baby, Freya. It takes a while."

She glared at him, then sighed and smiled. "That's what everyone says." She looked down at Bethany, watching them both with big eyes. "Come on, squirt," she said. "You can keep me company."

Bethany pulled herself awkwardly to her feet, still holding the doll. "Ethan?" she asked, looking down.

"You can keep him," Simon said. "Auntie Frey's bought him for you."

The little girl smiled so hugely that it warmed his heart.

"Come on," Freya said again, holding out her hand. "Let's go sit in the sun. And we can talk about words that shouldn't be used …"

-x-

"How did the shopping go?" Inara asked as River and Jethro stepped back on board.

"You should have come," River said grinning. "Helped me persuade Jethro about a shirt."

"It was far too expensive and I'd never wear it," the young man said. "These are fine." He held out the bag he carried in his uninjured hand.

"It's not enough," the girl said. "I wanted to get -"

"It's plenty." He looked down, realising he'd interrupted her. "River, I'm grateful. I really am. But you have to understand, at the Abbey, we never had much. It was part of our order. Possessions aren't meant to be important …" He'd worded that badly, he realised. "I'd just got used to wearing the shirt of a Shepherd …"

She stepped closer to him. "You're not a Shepherd, Jethro. You were never meant to be," she said softly, her eyes seeming to look deep inside him.

"Then what am I meant to be?" he asked, curious as to what she saw.

"We have to find out." She reached up and put a soft kiss on his cheek, then stepped back, almost as if she were surprised at her own actions. She giggled and ran away into the common area.

Jethro watched her go, then put his hand to his face.

"She's never had a boyfriend before," Inara explained gently. "You have to make allowances for that."

He looked surprised. "But she's not a child … how did she manage …"

"We move around a lot," Inara said, smiling to cover the fact that she wasn't really explaining anything.

"I suppose."

He still looked concerned, so Inara deftly changed the subject. "So what was the shirt like? The one you wouldn't let her buy."

"Gold satin, with a red velvet collar." He shuddered. "I looked terrible in it."

"She made you try it on?"

"Only so she could see how awful it looked."

"And she still liked it."

Jethro nodded. "I looked like a boy wh–" He stopped suddenly.

Inara understood. "A whore?" she supplied gently.

"I'm sorry," Jethro said. "I didn't mean to imply –"

"I was a Companion," Inara explained. "Not a whore. No matter what some people on this ship tended to think. But I'm not any longer. Either of those two things."

"I'm sorry."

She smiled and put her hand on his arm. "It's all right." She squeezed gently. "You'd better go and put your new clothes away before River gets mad with you."

"Yes, yes, I think I'd better." He grinned, looking very young, and hurried off.

"Frightening men away now?" Mal asked from the cargo bay doors.

She turned to look at him, at Jayne grinning wickedly and Zoe with her normal stoic face cracked by just the hint of a smile. "I think someone else got to him first," she said confidently.

"River?" the first mate said.

"He doesn't quite know what to make of her."

"Not the only one," Jayne muttered, heading past them and up the stairs. "Anyone wants me, I'll be in my bunk."

"He's not happy about Jethro being on board," Inara said quietly.

"No, he ain't," Mal agreed.

"And you?"

Serenity's captain looked down into her dark eyes. "I'm kinda waiting for the other boot to drop, truth be told. River says he's important to us somehow, but I ain't gonna hold my breath to find out how."

"We could always put him off if you think he's a threat, sir," Zoe said.

"Not a threat." Mal exhaled noisily. "And I don't think River'd be too pleased if I did that. No, we'll wait for a while. He ain't likely to hurt us, so …" He shook himself. "Frey back yet?"

"I haven't seen her, and I've been here since you left." Inara smiled. "Just taking in the sights."

"How come you didn't go shopping?" Zoe asked.

"There's nothing I need," Inara said. "Since I'm not a whore any longer …" She turned her gaze onto Mal.

"Hey, I never said … well, not for a while," he blustered. "Just wondering where my wife is, is all."

"Right behind you."

He turned and watched as Freya stepped up the ramp. Kaylee was next to her, while Simon followed carrying a worn-out Bethany, a doll clutched tightly in her hand.

"Hey," he said, holding out his arm so she could walk into his embrace.

"Hi." She smiled and kissed him.

"You okay?" he asked, noting the slightly dark shadows under her eyes. "Doc, you been letting my wife get overtired?"

"It's my fault, Cap'n," Kaylee said. "Trying to find stuff for Bethany, then that ignition switch … took a mite longer than I had anticipated."

"I hope you got what you need, 'cause we're gonna have to get going." Mal tried to look sternly at his mechanic.

"Everything," Kaylee replied brightly, knowing he didn't mean it. No matter what he said, how he tried to be, he wasn't the mean old man he pretended. She turned to her husband and took Bethany from him. "Nap time for you," she said, feeling the weight of her daughter. "And you're getting heavy." She walked towards their quarters.

"Nice doll," Mal commented as they stepped through into the common area.

"His name's Ethan," Freya explained.

"So she's got something else to stare at now?" he asked, pulling her closer so he could look down at his own sleeping son.

"Freya bought it for her," Simon said, lifting the package of clothes higher into his arms. "She insisted."

"Loudly," Freya added. "Otherwise I think Bethany would have sworn even more."

"Really?" Mal asked. "So it was bribery and corruption?"

"Honest tradition among a certain level of society," Hank said from above them.

Mal looked up. "Ain't wrong there," he agreed. "And you'd best get our course set."

"We all on?" the pilot asked.

"We are." He turned to his first mate. "Zoe …"

She pushed the button to close the doors.

"How quick do we have to be?" Hank asked.

"Ask Simon here," Mal said, turning to the young man. "Kaylee buy up all the store?" he asked, poking the large parcel.

"It certainly feels like it."

Mal smiled. "Better make sure we get the job done fast as we can, then. Just so you can pay for it all, doctor," he said, slapping him on the back so hard he staggered.


	3. Chapter 3

"You intend sitting up all night?" Mal asked as he stepped down into the galley from the direction of the engine room.

Jethro was sitting at the table, a glass of water in front of him, and he looked up. "I was just thinking, Captain."

"'Bout what?"

"You. This crew. And why I'm still here."

Mal, in the act of pouring a last cup of coffee, looked over in surprise. "Don't you want to be?" he asked.

"What I want seems to be irrelevant at this time."

Mal gestured with his tin mug. "You know, for a man who claims to come from Eos, you sure talk like you were bred closer to the Core." He came round and sat opposite. "Anything you feel like telling me."

Jethro gazed at him, noting only honest interest in those blue eyes. "I could say it was the Abbey insisted I talk this way."

"You could," Mal agreed. "'Cepting I've known a few Preachers in my time and none of 'em talked quite like you." He sipped his coffee. "So what's the truth?"

"The truth?" Jethro smiled. "Just how long were you planning on staying awake?"

Mal smiled back. "You know, you do remind me of a man I knew once. Sat right there in that chair and tried to talk philosophy to me."

"What happened?"

"He died."

Jethro wondered at the bleakness that crossed the older man's features. "Did you kill him?"

"Yes."

"I see." He glanced down into his water. "Captain, I may not be a full Shepherd, but if you'd like me to hear your confession I'd -" He raised his head again at Mal's unexpected bark of laughter.

"Just how long've _you_ got, Preacher?" Mal said, sitting back. "I've kinda packed a whole lot of sinning into my life."

"Then perhaps another time, Captain."

"Perhaps." Mal took another mouthful of coffee, tasting the bitterness of a too-long brewed beverage. He pushed the mug away. "You sly?" he asked.

Jethro felt his face colour. "No. No, I'm not."

"Just wondering. Wouldn't be the first time a man took to the cloth 'cause he didn't like women."

"I like … I'm not sly," Jethro confirmed.

"But you are a virgin," Mal said astutely.

"How –"

"Like I said, I've known a few Shepherds, and most of them have been celibate. Can't say it's ever appealed to me, but they seemed to find it soothing." He put his head slightly on one side. "I figure you for, what, maybe twenty-three, twenty-four?"

"I'm twenty-four."

"See, always was a good judge of men." Mal smiled. "Little Kaylee let slip you'd been at the Abbey some eight years. Means you were barely sixteen when you signed on. Now, I'm not asking what you were doing for the first five years, since I can guess … something to do with a fee to be paid … but unless Eos has changed, they never looked kindly on sex before marriage, and there ain't no ring on your finger …"

Jethro stared at him. "You're right," he said finally. "I've never known the … the company of a woman."

"See," Mal said with a grin. "Told you I was a fair judge of folk. And I still say you ain't from Eos."

"That's where you're wrong, Captain," Jethro said, just a little righteous indignation in his voice. "I was born there. But … my mother wasn't. She came from the Core, from Londinium. She made sure I spoke well, educated me …"

"Lot of that about." Mal's face softened. "My Ma was pretty much the same. Not with the talking, but the education …" He smiled in fond remembrance.

"Where are you from?" Jethro asked.

"Shadow."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Long time past." Mal shook himself. "And a lot of air through the intake since then." He looked at the young man. "Why'd she leave Londinium?"

Jethro blushed. "She … there was a family scandal. She thought she had no choice."

"Got with child, eh?"

Jethro nodded, surprised at this man's insight. "She … her family disowned her, and she came out to the borders."

"Seems to be sometimes the _civilised_ planets lack a certain amount of civilisation."

"It wasn't her fault," Jethro said quickly, defending his mother.

"Nope, don't reckon it was," Mal replied gently. "So she left."

"Got to Eos before the little money she'd managed to take ran out. My father took her in. He fell in love with her."

"Your father?"

"Maybe not genetically, but he's -"

"Your Pa."

Jethro nodded again. "He's a good man."

"I think maybe he is. Seems to have brought up a good son." There was a companionable silence for a few moments, then Mal said, "So. You and River …"

Jethro started guiltily. "I don't know -"

"No, I kinda figured that. Seems to be the general answer." Mal looked at him, the short black hair, the dark brown eyes. "Just bear in mind that River's … special."

"I know she's psychic."

Mal's eyebrows raised. "Do you, now."

"I've known since I first saw her at the Abbey. And you don't have to worry, Captain. I won't tell anyone. I haven't so far."

"No. I think you're trustworthy. Just not quite sure yet what she wants with you."

The young man blushed again. "Captain, I can promise you, I have no designs on River."

Mal's lips twitched. "Like I said, it ain't you I'm worried about." He stood up, moving to the counter to put his unfinished coffee down. He looked back. "Don't do anything to hurt her. Or you'll find out just how special she is."

"I don't understand."

"Hope you never do," Mal said. "You switch off the lights when you're through, okay?"

"I … of course."

Mal hadn't waited to hear. He'd left the galley, walking down the corridor to the hatch to his bunk. Pushing it open he climbed down the ladder, glancing across at the bed as it came in sight. "Frey? You okay?"

She was sitting naked in the corner, her legs drawn up to her chest, her arms around them. "Can't sleep," she said, not looking at him, but staring through the open door of the nursery.

"Why not?" he asked, crossing the floor to sit on the edge of the bed next to her.

"How can I be a good mother? A good wife?"

He laughed. "You already are."

"No, I ain't."

He put his hand under her chin, pulling it around to look into her face. "What's brought this on?" he asked gently. "Something I should know about?"

"Nothing." She wouldn't meet his gaze.

"Frey, I know you. Maybe better than you know yourself. So tell me." He stroked her cheek with his thumb.

She finally raised her eyes. "I don't know how to look after Ethan," she admitted in a small voice. "Everyone keeps saying that it comes naturally, but … I don't know how."

"Of course you do." He moved up a little further so he was touching her. "Frey, honey, this is just that post-partum thing Simon talked about. Just a little depression. It don't mean anything."

"Simon should talk." The corner of Freya's mouth raised. "He lost Bethany today."

"Lost her?"

"She wandered off."

"Does Kaylee know?"

"No. And you're not to tell her. But what if I lost Ethan?" The smile, however fleeting, was gone.

"You won't. You _are_ a good mother."

"Then why am I jealous?"

Mal wasn't surprised. This came up from time to time, as if she could never really get free of it. "Jealous of who?"

"Kaylee, and the way she looks after Bethany. Zoe, the way you and her are so close. And …" She stopped.

"And?" he prompted. "Inara?"

"I know you love me. I know you don't want her, I do know that, really I do," she said in a rush. "But I look at myself at the moment, and I can't help feeling she's so much more … I mean, look at me."

He leaned back, flamboyantly running his eyes up and down her naked body. "Okay, I'm looking. And I see my beautiful wife."

"But I'm not!" she insisted. "You're not really looking, Mal. I'm so … I can't even exercise properly at the moment. Simon's only just said I can start doing situps, and my body has gone so soft -"

He stopped her with a finger to her lips. "Frey, listen to me. _Yu xin teng, ai ren_. All of you. So what if you're a little softer at the moment? That's because you had our child inside you. And it won't be long before you're back to the way you were." He moved in close again. "And if you don't, do you really think it would stop me loving you?"

"I just thought you wouldn't want me like this."

"Oh, Frey." He sighed. "Up until last night I've been climbing the walls of Serenity because I couldn't have you. You think I was makin' that up?"

"Well …"

"And what about me?" he asked. "Are you going to stop loving me when I'm old and grey?"

She smiled a little. "Could be you go old and bald."

"No, no," Mal said firmly. "The men in my family don't lose their hair. We just get … distinguished."

"That what you call it?"

"Maybe I'll grow a beard," he added. "Just to complete the set."

"No."

"You don't think it'll suit me?"

"No."

"Okay, maybe not." He grinned. "The point is, when I'm old and whatever, you gonna stop loving me?"

"Mal, if you lose every hair on your body, every tooth in your head, even if you can't straighten up or remember my name, I'll love you."

"So why shouldn't I love you now?" he asked, running his fingertips down her neck and chest to the softness of her belly. He leaned in over her thighs and kissed her navel. "You are so beautiful. Everywhere."

"Everywhere?" she asked, looking down to see his dark head in her lap.

"Everywhere," he agreed. "Like here," he kissed her left thigh. "And here." Her right thigh. Her legs relaxed. "And here." Her right hip. "Here." Her left hip. "Here." His kisses trailed down …

She sighed in pleasure, putting her hand on his head, looking at the engagement ring he'd put on her finger three times, the wedding ring he placed there when they got married, and felt the tension leave her body. "Mal …"

"Oh, and most definitely here …"

-x-

The freighter hung in the sky like a grey jewel, its surfaces reflecting Serenity's lights.

"What happened to her?" Hank asked, staring out of the window at the mess made of its hull.

"Core went," Kaylee supplied. "I checked her out on the Cortex. Looks like maybe they didn't have a good mechanic, so when something went wrong … bang."

"They died?" Jethro asked from the back of the bridge, his first time there.

"Every single one." Kaylee gave him a sad smile. "No lifeboats, not on a freighter, but it would've been quick."

Jethro nodded, and offered up a silent prayer.

"Well, that ain't exactly our problem," Mal said firmly. "All we gotta do is get over there, find the goods and get away again."

"What about radiation?" Inara asked. "If the core exploded …"

"There's some, but …" Hank considered. "As long as you don't take too long about it, you should be okay."

"Then we don't dawdle." Mal leaned down a little. "Hank, can you get us up against their airlock without -"

His pilot shook his head. "Can't, Mal. We ain't gonna dock. That explosion took out the cargo bay as well as the engine room."

"Bad design," Kaylee muttered. "Ya just don't do that, have 'em so close together."

"I'll be sure to mention it next time I talk to the Alliance," Mal said dryly. "So it's suits. Zoe, get 'em prepped."

"Is there …" Jethro started, then paused as everyone turned to look at him. He blushed a little but went on, "Is there anything I should do?"

"How about keepin' out of our way?" Jayne said, his voice low and menacing.

Mal glanced at the big man, still wondering at the animosity he was showing … well, more than usual, but said, "Thanks for the offer, Jethro. Still, as we're not sure where your talents lie as yet, I conjure you'd be best off staying put. Unless you've been for a walk in the black before?"

Jethro shook his head silently.

"He can help me in the kitchen," River suggested from the doorway. "Clean up after breakfast."

"Good idea, albatross," the captain said, smiling at her. "Just don't break anything this time – ain't got money to waste on new plates if you start jabbering away."

She didn't answer, just gave him a look that did not bode well and took hold of Jethro's arm, leading him away towards the galley.

"What's he doing on board, Mal?" Jayne asked, soon as they'd gone. "He ain't part of the crew. Not much more'n a passenger, and not one as can pay, either."

"He's River's friend," Mal said shortly. "If you've got a problem with that, go talk to her." He looked around the rest of his crew. "Right. Zoe, suits. Hank, get us as close as you can without actually impaling us on something, and Kaylee …"

"Stop Serenity blowing up?" she suggested.

"Good idea."

-x-

"Why doesn't he like me?" Jethro asked.

"Who?" River handed him an apron.

"Jayne." He tied the strings around his waist. "Did I do something to him whilst I was unconscious?"

"He's just being a big silly," River said airily.

"Are you and he …" Jethro stopped, embarrassed.

"We're friends." She smiled at him. "He doesn't want to see anything bad happen to me."

"And he thinks I might be bad?"

"He doesn't know you."

"Neither do you."

"Yes I do." She gazed into his eyes and he felt her in his mind.

"Stop that," he said quickly, angry at her.

River stepped back as if she'd been struck. "I'm … I'm sorry. I thought you understood."

"You don't just go …" He shook his head. "I know you're psychic. I realised that back at Bathgate. But …"

"I just wanted to show you –"

"You don't do that!" He tore off the apron again. "People's minds are private places, River. You can't just go through their thoughts."

"I didn't mean to make you –"

He glared at her and strode out of the room.

"That didn't go too well, did it?" Freya asked from the doorway.

"I didn't mean …" River looked upset and confused.

"I know you didn't." She stepped down into the galley. "But you weren't exactly showing any of that control we've been working so hard on."

"I like him."

"I know." Freya gathered her into her arms, feeling her holding tightly. "But you don't have to force people to let them know. You just say."

"But –"

"No buts." She looked down into the large dark eyes. "Control, River. That's what it's all about. If you don't have control …"

"I know." River sighed, putting her head back into Freya's chest as she stroked her hair.

"I think you'd better apologise."

"I suppose so."

"And no more digging in people's minds, not unless they say yes. Or Mal tells you to."

She felt the girl smile. "Or you."

"Or me."

"Okay." She stood back, Freya's hands on her shoulders.

"You good?"

"Good."

"Then run along and say you're sorry."

"Yes, momma." River grinned and hurried off, her bare feet silent on the decking.

Freya shook her head. If that young man _was_ the one she wanted, he wasn't going to be able to say no that easily.

-x-

The cargo bay doors opened and Mal stood on the edge, looking out into the black. He loved it, the feeling of openness, of nothing all around. It was that very nothing that made Simon quake when he had to put on a suit, but Serenity's captain felt at home in it. Even with the slight nausea weightlessness always gave him. A small price to pay to feel at one with the 'verse. He grinned. Freya was right – getting a mite too poetical in his old age. He almost wished she was with him, just so she could laugh at him, but Simon had said not yet. Sex was one thing, going out into space was –

"Sir?" Zoe asked.

He shook himself, getting his mind back onto the job. "Let's go."

He pushed off, his feet leaving the skin of the Firefly. He almost expected to feel the wind in his hair as he drifted through the vacuum, but it was only the freighter coming up that showed he was moving at all. The stars stayed where they were.

Behind him Zoe and Jayne followed, the big man with a selection of tools and bags hung about his person.

"You sure they're all dead?" Jayne asked, twenty feet away but sounding as if he was breathing in Mal's ear.

"All of 'em, Jayne," he said reassuringly. "No ghosts here."

"Weren't thinking about ghosts," the mercenary said. "Just that I didn't bring Vera."

"Not likely to need to shoot our way out." He saw the opening coming up and got himself ready to take the impulse out of his momentum.

"Or grenades."

"Sometimes, Jayne, I think you love grenades more than you do Vera," Zoe said deadpan.

"I don't love River!" His voice this time was loud, shouting into the mike.

There was a pause, then Mal heard her say, "Vera, Jayne. I said Vera."

Mal could imagine the look on the big man's face. "Something you want to tell us?" he asked, feeling his boots hit the freighter's deck.

"Nope," Jayne muttered. "Ain't nothing I wanna tell anyone."

"Good." He turned to see the others landing after him. "Then let's just get the job done, _dong mah_?"

"Sure, Mal." Jayne nodded through his faceplate. "Lickety-split."


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm sorry."

Jethro looked up from the chair in the common area. River was coming down the stairs, her soft dress floating around her. He stood up, wincing at the pain in his ribs. "River, I don't know what the rest of the crew is used to, but I don't like being … violated like that."

"They don't like it either," she admitted quietly.

"Then why do you do it?" He was honestly curious.

"What people say, the gestures they make …they can lie. All my life people have lied to me. But in your thoughts, below the mundane and the everyday, there's the truth."

"Don't you trust anyone?"

"I've had little cause to." She sat down, pulling her legs under her.

"That sounds terrible."

"It was." She looked down at her hands. "Here, on this ship, are the only people I trust." She glanced into his face. "I want to trust you too."

He stared at her, so young, but with the weight of centuries apparently on her shoulders. He joined her on the old sofa. "Then I should apologise as well. I didn't understand." He shook his head slightly. "I still don't."

"Then we're both sorry." She smiled up at him, but it was only tentative. "There's so much you don't know about me, and …"

"And what?" he prompted.

"I'm afraid you won't like me if I tell you."

"Why wouldn't I like you?" She looked so sad that he reached out and put his hand on her knee. "I'm sure there's nothing you can tell me that would matter that much."

"I don't think I can tell you."

"You don't have to. But I was going to be a Shepherd, River. I can keep secrets."

"That isn't why."

"Then what?"

She shook her head firmly. "Not yet."

He sighed. "I know you're psychic. What else can there be?"

"So much …" Her eyes unfocused as old images of death and destruction filled her mind. Blood, hers and others, on metal probes, on a black and white floor …

-x-

The explosion had ripped open the entire length of the cargo bay, which ran from bow to stern of the ship, spilling her contents into space. Most of it had been removed a long time ago, but there was still the odd empty crate floating close to the hull.

"She's been picked clean, Mal," Jayne pointed out. "How's Badger know it's still here?"

"He doesn't." Mal turned to look into the other man's faceplate. "But it hasn't shown up on the open market, so he's hoping. Besides, the folks that did this likely didn't know there was anything else to find."

"Lot of maybe's floatin' around here." Jayne couldn't leave it, worrying it like a dog with a rat. "And I ain't happy about takin' on a job on that _hwoon-dahn_'s say so without a bit more -"

"Jayne." Mal's voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Badger said what we want's in the captain's cabin, sir," Zoe said, looking around, the beam from her flashlight disappearing into the darkness. "Which Hank puts as one level up, forward."

"Okay then." Mal pushed off from the floor and drifted towards an open doorway above him. "Let's find this piece of _fei-oo_ and get back home."

-x-

"So much blood …" the young girl murmured, staring into the blueness of the infirmary.

"River?" Jethro took her arm. "What is it?"

She looked at him, having to concentrate on his earnest face to bring herself back. "I've done things, seen things … you have no idea."

"Then tell me."

"I can't."

"Then … then show me."

She stared at him. "What?"

"If I let you, can you show me these things you've seen, done?"

"I don't know," she admitted in a small voice.

"Can you try?"

She shook her head. "I might hurt you, and I don't want to hurt you. I don't have the control, not yet, not to be able to …" She began to shiver.

"River …" He put his arms around her, holding her close. "I want to understand."

"So do I."

-x-

Mal orientated himself so that he was hanging approximately the right way up and moved along the corridor, just a small push now and then keeping him going. He came to a junction, two more passageways leading off left and right. "Zoe."

"It's not on the plan Hank brought up," she said, shaking her head inside the suit.

"Looks like someone's modified this hunk o' junk," Jayne muttered.

"It surely does." Mal pressed the external com button on his suit. "Hank, are you there?"

"Well, I was thinking of going out for coffee," the pilot said in his ear. "Maybe Boros –"

Mal interrupted his attempt at wit. "We've got something of a quandary here. We're on the right level, but there's a fork in the road. Can you give us a hint of which way to go?"

Hank brought the plan of the freighter back up on the screen. "You're on the first level?" he asked.

"That we are."

"How far along?"

Mal turned around so he could look at the doors behind him. "Looks like we're just passed a store room. It's labelled G28."

"Right, right." Hank sat forward. "It figures they added in another layer of bunks, Mal. But the original plans show the captain's quarters to be snug against the right hand main bulkhead."

"Then we go right?"

"I'd say so."

"Keep on the com," Mal ordered. "Just in case we come up with a few more surprises."

"_Wu de mah_!" Jayne shouted.

"What the _diyu_ was that?" Hank said quickly.

Mal turned, and saw the big man holding a body at arm's length.

"Where'd you get that?" he asked.

"Just opened the door and there it was," the mercenary said, G28 gaping blackly behind him.

"We're not here to go sightseeing," Mal pointed out. "We're here to do the job."

"It's just a body anyway, Jayne," Zoe said quietly. "You've seen enough of them."

"Yeah, but generally the dead ones don't come tapping on your shoulder." The big man pushed the corpse away. "Why didn't they clean up?"

"Must've known you were coming," Mal said. "Can we get on now?"

-x-

"Why don't you try?" Jethro asked.

"I can't."

"Then tell me."

She stared into his eyes, indecision in her own. "I've never … what they did …" She looked so upset that it hurt him.

"What who did?" he asked gently.

"Hands of blue …" She was trembling.

-x-

"This is it," Mal said cheerfully, smiling broadly.

"How'd you know?" Jayne asked.

"Because it says so." Mal tapped the nameplate then opened the door and glided inside. His flashlight showed a large compartment, some pieces of furniture still in place revealing this was some kind of office, among them a large desk bolted to the floor against the wall. Two more doors suggested this was only part of a larger suite.

"They lived pretty well," Zoe commented, looking at the pictures on the walls.

"Yeah, well, it didn't stop them dying though." Mal indicated with his torch. "You take that room; Jayne, the other. I'll look in here."

"Why didn't he say where the goods were?" the mercenary grumbled as he pulled himself towards the door.

"Because no-one was supposed to know it was on board, Jayne," Zoe said, going the other way.

"Hey, I got a bathroom here," the big man said.

"How would you know?" Hank's voice filtered in from Serenity, reminding them he was still listening.

"Watch it, little man," Jayne threatened. "I'm just in the mood to kill somethin'."

"Not a good idea to threaten the man who still has to pick you up," Hank pointed out.

Mal ignored their bickering, knowing from experience that they would still get the job done despite it. Instead he began searching himself, lifting the pictures from the walls and pushing them away, looking for a safe. Nothing in the more obvious places, but then …

"Hey, I think I found it!" Jayne sounded jubilant. "I just need to get …"

Mal turned, pulling himself along towards the other door, then stopped. Something had caught his eye, just above the edge of his vision, and he levered himself around so he could look up. "_Tah muh duh_," he breathed, shining his flashlight the edges of the ceiling. Then, louder, "We need to leave. Now."

"Cap, I'm just getting the gorram thing open," Jayne whined. "What for you want us to –"

"Because otherwise we're going to end up in little pieces."

"Sir?" Zoe's voice now.

"Now, people!" Mal used his sergeant's voice, the one that everyone knew meant obey or else. But it was too late. He began to turn, pushing himself around, but before he could complete the manoeuvre the wall next to him rippled, buckled and exploded, thrusting him backwards, slamming him into the bulkhead behind him. He hit his head inside his helmet, and as blackness engulfed him, he realised he couldn't breathe.

-x-

Freya, in the middle of settling Ethan down to nap, snapped her head up. "Mal."

In the common area, River tried to take a breath. "Captain." Jethro stared as she ran out into the cargo bay.

"Mal!" Hank shouted into the com.


	5. Chapter 5

"Sir. Hold on."

Mal tried to open his eyes, wanting to take a breath but finding there wasn't enough oxygen left to do more than gasp. His vision cleared a little and he saw Zoe beside him. She was fiddling with her own supply.

He realised what she was doing, what must have happened. "No!" he managed to say. "Ain't taking your air!" He tried to move away but Jayne must have been behind him.

"Gorramit, just stay still, Cap, till I get the sealant working."

An area of intense cold was biting into his back, burning his skin, then suddenly it wasn't there anymore. Did the cold of space finally destroy nerves before it killed you, he wondered idly. Then he took a breath. And another. "Damn it, Zoe, I said no," he said through dry lips.

"Sorry sir, I don't think I heard you."

"Don't go moving too much," Jayne advised, pushing himself around so he could see into Mal's faceplate. "That sealant'll hold, but not if you decide to do anything stupid."

"What …" Mal began but Jayne was quicker.

"Busted your pack on the wall," he explained. "Took out your air and tore a neat little hole in your suit."

"Wondered why it was so cold." He looked from one to the other. "Thanks."

"You're welcome, sir." Zoe nodded.

"Hank, are you there?" he said, glancing entirely unnecessarily towards where he thought his Firefly was hanging. There was no response. "Hank."

"It's no good, Mal," Jayne said. "I been trying. The explosion must have knocked out the coms to the ship. The suit radios are still working, but they're only close range so …"

Mal looked at the big man. "Then we'd best be getting out of here," he said, straightening up.

"Well, unless you've got some miraculous way of escaping, we ain't going anywhere."

"What? Why?"

"The explosion sealed us in." Jayne swung his flashlight around so Mal could see the twisted metal where the door had been.

"The other rooms?" he asked.

"No exits I could see, sir," Zoe said.

"We'll just have to wait for the others to come get us," Jayne added.

"We can't let them do that," Mal said quickly.

"Why not?"

In response Mal lifted the big man's torch up towards the ceiling. There, nestled amongst wiring, was another explosive charge. He followed the wires across the wall to a second, then a third, before the wiring disappeared through the bulkhead.

"_Tien Yehsoo_. It's been booby-trapped?" Jayne said in disgust.

"No, I don't think so." Mal pushed them carefully just a little closer. "I think it's a little more dangerous than that." Now they could see the small ident flag on the case.

"Alliance?" Zoe asked.

"I think Badger's informant wasn't as accurate as he was led to believe," Mal said softly. "They ain't towing this to the scrap belt. They're taking it out right here. Blowing it to pieces." He laughed without humour. "We're sitting on a demolition job."

"And that first explosion?"

Mal shrugged, somewhat difficult inside a space suit. "Maybe we knocked it, or it just wasn't our day. But we were damn lucky it didn't cascade."

"How long d'you figure we got?" Jayne asked, eyeing the explosives warily.

"Could be a day, maybe more, maybe less. Badger said it was four days when we were on Persephone, but as he ain't exactly well-informed …" Mal paused. "But that ain't the problem."

"It's not?"

"How much air've you got, Zo?" Mal asked.

Zoe checked her read-out. "About an hour."

Mal looked at her. "See, that's why I told you not to share it. You and me, we've got about thirty minutes before it ain't gonna matter one way or the other. Looks like Jayne's gonna have his greatest wish and outlive us both."

-x-

"Hank, what's happened?" Freya ran up the stairs to the bridge.

"Mal told everyone to get back to Serenity, then there was a sound like … I don't know what, and then nothing." Hank was frantically pushing buttons, trying to get some kind of contact.

"Freya …" River stood in the doorway. "He couldn't breathe."

The older woman nodded, her face tightening. "I know."

"But he's alright."

Freya stared. "You sure?"

"I can feel him."

"Can you tell what happened?"

"An explosion. I think." She shook her head. "I can't tell properly."

Freya turned to look out of the bridge windows at the freighter, trying to project her mind, to get through the fog that still surrounded her … "_Qiang bao hou zi de hun dan_," she muttered, and Jethro, standing behind River on the stairs, winced slightly.

"Do you want me to …" The young psychic stopped as Freya whipped round to face her.

"Can you?"

"I don't know."

"Please. Try."

River nodded. She gazed out at the freighter, concentrating hard.

"What's going on?" Simon asked, having heard the commotion. Kaylee was right there with him, Inara behind her.

"There seems to be a slight problem," Hank said, watching River closely.

"What kind of problem?"

-x-

"Sir?" Zoe looked into Mal's faceplate. "Are you all right?"

Mal was staring into nothing. "I think River's trying to communicate," he said quietly.

"Can she do that?"

"Beginning to think it's more a case of wondering what she _can't_ do." Mal held up his hand. "Just …"

Zoe nodded and fell silent.

Jayne was taking a closer look at one of the explosive packs. "_Chusheng xai-jiao de xiang huo_," he said loudly.

"Jayne," Zoe warned.

"What?"

"Just shut up a minute."

The big man pushed himself around to stare at them. "You don't care we're gonna blow up in about half an hour?" he asked.

This time it was Zoe's turn to look confused. "What are you talking about?"

"This thing's on a timer. I was seeing if I could maybe diffuse it, but it's got an anti-tamper mechanism - you try and it blows. Figure maybe that's what happened with the other one."

"But half an hour?"

"They're all individually timed. This one …" He nodded back over his shoulder. "…says twenty-nine minutes."

"Great," Mal muttered. "So we get rendered into our constituent particles or die from lack of oxygen." He added, "And then get rendered. Looks like Badger really did have it wrong."

Zoe looked at her captain. "What did River say?"

He shook his head. "It wasn't quite like that. She didn't … speak, as such, just …" Mal glanced at Jayne then back at Zoe. "I tried to make her understand they have to get away. Leave us."

-x-

"Not rescue them?" Hank was appalled. "He thinks we're just gonna fire up Serenity and get on with our day?"

"He's insistent," River said softly, still reaching out. "He doesn't want us to die." She turned enough so she could look into Freya's eyes. "He wants you to live." She sighed and collapsed, Jethro just managing to catch her before she hit the floor. Simon was at her side immediately.

"_Mei-mei_?"

She looked into his face, tears on her cheeks. "It took so much control, just to …They don't have long," she whispered. "Not long to save them."

-x-

"Jayne, was in the name of Buddha are you doing?" Zoe asked, floating in the middle of the room, attached to Mal by her emergency oxygen tube.

"Getting the goods." He grunted.

"Why?"

"Hell, I ain't intending to die here, so might as well make sure we're gonna get paid." He groaned with effort, then … "Yes." A moment later he reappeared in the doorway, attaching a bag to his belt.

"Well done," Mal said, only a little sarcasm in his voice. "We're rich."

"And just how were you planning on getting out of here to actually get your money?" Zoe asked.

Jayne laughed. "You don't really think they've gone, do you?"

"No," Mal muttered angrily. "I ain't figuring that at all."

"Good." The big man grinned and reached behind him, pulling out the emergency connection. He plugged it into the back of Zoe's pack.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"You think they're gonna let me back on board without ya?" he asked, flicking the switch so they were all sharing the same oxygen. "Gives us a few more minutes, don't'cha think?"

"Jayne …" Mal was about to thank him when he took a breath of air. "_Wu de mah_, Jayne, what have you been doing …"

"Aw, sorry, Mal. Didn't get a chance to change my clothes before I put the suit on."

Zoe just stared at him. "Sir, I think I'd rather suffocate."

-x-

"Can't we use one of the shuttles?" Inara suggested. "Get in close, maybe cut the bulkhead open?"

"If what River saw is right, we don't know where all the explosives are," Freya said, pacing the small bridge. "And if they're linked, if we hit just one …"

"It's a Kuyper, isn't it?" Jethro asked unexpectedly. "The freighter. A Kuyper?"

"That it is," Hank confirmed.

"I thought I recognised it. I worked on one when I was going to the Abbey."

Freya looked at the young man. "Jethro, I know you want to help, but -"

"There's another airlock. On the dorsal ridge." He pointed out of the window. "About half way along."

Hank stared then went back to his screen. "It ain't on the plans."

"But you've got the original blueprints, right?" Hank nodded. "I remember Captain Jorgensen saying the Kuyper had been adapted almost immediately, with more cabins and another airlock. In case of intruders."

"Show me," Freya ordered.

Jethro leaned over Hank's shoulder and tapped the screen. "Right there. It's narrow, and the access corridor is difficult, but it should be viable."

"In a suit?"

The young man paused. "Maybe."

Freya thought for a moment. "I don't think we've got any choice." She looked at the others. "We've got two more suits."

"I'll go," Hank said quickly.

"No. You've got to be ready to get us out of here."

Simon glanced at Kaylee, obviously about to volunteer, but Jethro spoke first. "I'll go."

"You've never been in a suit before," Freya said.

"And you've never been on board a Kuyper. It has to be me, otherwise you'll never find them in time."

She stared at him, then nodded. "Thanks."

"They're trapped," River said softly, looking up at Jethro. "In the captain's cabin."

"I can find them," he assured her.

"I'll get the cutting gear," Kaylee said, running back towards the engine room.

"Freya …" Simon began.

"Hank, keep the engine running. If it looks like we're not gonna make it, you get going, _dong mah_?" Freya said over him.

"Frey –"

"_Dong luh mah_?"

"I understand," the pilot said, turning away from her.

"Good. Time to go."


	6. Chapter 6

Jethro swallowed, trying to bite back the bile rising in his throat. Nausea was flaring in his stomach, and he was doing his best not to throw up inside the suit. Freya was standing on the skin of Serenity ahead of him, attached to him by a cable, but he still felt like he was going to fall off any second. Particularly as the Firefly was executing a lazy roll to bring them above the derelict freighter.

"You ready?" she asked.

"No," he admitted. "But let's go before I change my mind."

She smiled and pushed off, keeping her eyes on the ship in front. "Hank, we're leaving. Don't go anywhere," she said quietly.

"I'll try not to." The pilot's voice was tight, concerned as the cable went taut and Jethro felt himself lift from the hull plating, flying through nothing towards the solid metal of the freighter. He swallowed again.

Freya twisted somehow, getting her boots down first, then grabbed him before he could make hard contact. "Show me where," she said.

"Over … over there," he stammered, trying to get his feet to the hull.

She nodded and walked off, the slight magnetic seal enabling her to move smoothly. A small circle, raised just a little off the plating, caught her eye. "This it?"

"Yes."

"Open it."

He nodded and went down onto his knees, feeling the cold seeping in even through the insulated skin of the suit. Reaching out he touched a small panel which sprang open, revealing a lever. With a grunt he put his weight behind it and pulled. His feet left the hull and he would have spun away from the freighter if Freya hadn't got hold of him.

"Be careful," she said. "This isn't like a walk in the park."

"No," he agreed. "Nothing like."

"Bet you wish you were still back at the Abbey tending your garden now, don't you?" she said, leaning down to finish the job. The airlock door slid open.

"I didn't work in the garden," he said inconsequentially.

"Really?" Freya shone her flashlight inside. "Where did you work?"

"The kitchens. And … and the library."

"Food for brain and belly," she commented, reaching down into the dark and pulling something out.

"_Wuh de tyen, ah_!" the young man shouted, trying to scramble back.

"He ain't gonna hurt you," Freya said, letting the momentum take the body out into space. "He's been dead a while."

"What happened to him?" he asked as the body sailed into space, turning gently so that he could see it was a young man, about his age, his size, an almost surprised look on his face.

"Explosive decompression."

"I thought … I always thought bodies blew up when …"

"No. Cells rupture, yes, and the blood in the body boils, but …" She looked at him. "We've got live ones to get to, Jethro. Just think on that."

"Yes. Yes. Of course."

"I'll go first," Freya added dryly. "Make sure there's no-one else around."

-x-

"How long?" Kaylee asked, standing next to Simon on the bridge.

"I don't know," he said, putting his arm around her waist and holding her close.

"Not long," River said, sitting in the co-pilot's chair and hugging her knees. "Not much air left."

"They'll be fine," Inara said, her own arms tightly around her body. "Fine."

"Yeah," Hank added, staring at the freighter.

-x-

Mal blinked as a flashlight was shone through his faceplate. "Zoe," he murmured, turning enough so he could see towards the door.

"I think it's the cavalry, sir," she said, relief in her voice.

"Doesn't anyone obey orders around here?" he muttered in response.

There was a flare of light, and one of the metal beams blocking the door was pushed out of the way, spinning lazily in the torchlight.

"It doesn't seem like it, sir."

"Well, they'd better hurry," Jayne grumbled, checking his chronometer. "They're pushing it."

"Come on," Mal said. "We'd better help where we can." He pushed away from the wall and the three of them moved slowly towards the door.

-x-

"I can see them," Freya said, peering through a gap. "They're alive."

"Thank Buddha for that," Hank said, grinning round at the others on the bridge. "Now, about the getting them out of there?"

"We're working on it."

"Why are they all in a bunch like that?" Jethro asked, fumbling with the cutting tool but catching it at the last second.

"I'd say they're sharing air," Freya replied, using her tools with more skill. "No, that section." She tapped a different metal beam.

He nodded and began to cut where she'd indicated.

One of the three, Jayne from the bright yellow suit, reached in and grabbed the bar she'd been working on and pulled it free. Both him and it started to circle, stopped only when one of the other two grabbed the wall. There was a big enough gap for her to get her arm through, and she reached out, holding out a new com unit.

Mal, watching her through his face plate, took it from her hand and plugged it into Zoe's pack, discarding the useless one.

"Mal?" Freya's voice, somewhat tentative.

"What the _diyu_ are you doing here?" he asked, somewhat angrily.

"Well, I'd say it was a rescue."

"I told –"

"Mal, just shut up and be rescued. You can go on at me later, okay? When we're back on board Serenity."

He didn't. "And who the hell is that with you?"

"Um, it's me, Captain," Jethro said.

"Jethro?" Mal sounded so surprised that Freya had to laugh.

"Maybe we've found what he's good for after all," she said.

"Oh, I've been praying all the way here," the young man admitted.

"Frey –"

"Are you going to just hang there like meat waiting to be sold, or are you going to help?" Freya interrupted.

There was silence for a moment, then Mal reached out a hand. "Tell me where to pull."

The hole expanded quickly, but … "They won't get out the way we came in," Jethro said as he continued cutting. "Not the three of them like that."

"Then we go out through the cargo bay." Freya glanced down the corridor.

Mal glared out of his faceplate at her, his head starting to pound, their exertions using up the air faster. "We'll go that way, you go out the airlock."

"No." She wouldn't even look at him.

"There's no time –"

"Sir, the air –" Zoe tried to slow her breathing down.

Freya turned, looking at her friend, at the paleness of her usually dark skin in the light from the helmet. "No argument," she said firmly. "We go together."

"Explosions? Big boom? Soon?" Jayne said, his eyes wanting to close.

Jethro turned off the torch. "Come on, I think it's big enough."

Carefully, letting Freya manoeuvre them, Mal, Zoe and Jayne inched their way past the obstruction, feeling the sharp metal running over the plates on their suits. Then they were in the corridor.

"Freya …" Mal began again, his vision beginning to blur as the CO2 level increased.

"Come on," she said, taking his arm and pushing off from the wall.

-x-

Inara, her hand on the back of Hank's chair, leaned forward. "What was that?" she asked.

"What?" The pilot peered outside.

"That." She pointed towards the very stern of the freighter.

"Oh, shit," Hank breathed. He flicked the com switch. "Guys, you'd better hurry it up. It's started."

-x-

"What did he say?" Jayne asked, shaking his head to try and clear the fuzziness.

Freya touched the wall, feeling a vibration. "Jethro."

The young man nodded, and shoved as hard as he could. Within moments they were in the freighter's bay, the great ragged tear along her side showing the welcome stars through it. They didn't stop, but sailed out into space. Serenity hung in front of them, Hank turning her so that the cargo bay doors were directly ahead.

"Just a little power," he murmured, scooping them up as gently as he could. "Inara, now!"

She slammed down on the bay door control as the five crew members hit the inner airlock.

"Hank, go!" Freya shouted, rolling against the metal so she could just see the detonations tearing the freighter apart as the doors slammed shut.

"My thoughts exactly," Hank said, pulling the Firefly around and going for full burn. Behind them the freighter exploded, fragments hurling out into the black.

Freya reached out and managed to press the switch for artificial gravity, very welcome if slightly awkward as they all fell to the floor. "Jethro, help me," she said, crawling across to the other three still connected by the emergency tubing. She reached Jayne first as Jethro helped Zoe, but he waved her away, putting his own hands up to release his helmet.

"I can do it," he muttered, fumbling with the catches.

She turned to the next. Mal. His eyes were closed, his face was grey, lips pinker than they should be as she reached around his neck with trembling fingers. There was a click and the side catches gave. Carefully she lifted the helmet from his head. He took a great shuddering breath.

"Mal?" she said softly.

He opened his eyes, a little blearily, but he looked at her. "This what you meant by love, honour and obey?"

She smiled shakily, taking off her own helmet. "I don't seem to recall anything in there about obeying."

Zoe groaned. "Please, sir. Not right now."

Mal grinned weakly and looked over at Jethro, still fiddling with his helmet until Zoe reached up and helped. "Looks like River was right," he said. "You were useful to us after all."

"Glad to be of help," Jethro said, leaning back against the inner doors. "Can I throw up now?"

"Everyone okay?" came Hank's rather anxious voice over the com.

Zoe answered for them all. "We're fine, dear."

"Great!" The relief in his voice was palpable.

"Get us on course for Beylix," Mal ordered. "Time to get paid."

-x-

River was sitting in the galley, her legs drawn up onto the chair as she read at the table.

"What's that?" Jethro asked, stepping down carefully into the galley.

"Retromechanics and the Quantum Theory. It's historical." She put her head on one side. "Are you all right?"

He sat down opposite her. "Just feeling a little queasy still."

"Have you seen my brother about it?"

He nodded, then wished he hadn't. "He's given me a shot, but said it's mostly in my mind."

"He says that a lot. Mostly to me." She smiled at him.

"I imagine he does."

"Would you like a drink?"

"Please. Water would be good."

She got up and glided to the counter, getting a glass out from the cupboard. "I'm glad to see you're okay," she said over her shoulder.

"Thank you." He watched her turn on the faucet. "Why did you ask if I wanted a drink?"

"Because I wanted to know." She brought the glass back and put it in front of him.

"No, I mean, why didn't you just look?" He tapped his temple. "In here?"

She sat down, lifting her legs back onto the chair. "Because you don't like it. Because it's not right. Because it's rude. Because it's –"

"I get the idea." He sat forward. "River, what you did, communicating with the Captain like that … is it what you are?"

"I don't know what I am," she admitted, picking up her book again. "It's part of what I am. But I think there's more."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure there is," Jethro agreed. "But you saw into his mind?"

"Yes."

"What did you see?"

She looked at him, her dark eyes so intense, so … "His concern. His love for his crew. For his wife and child. His guilt over all the men he couldn't save. And the fear."

"Fear?"

"That he can't protect us. That we'll go the way of the others."

"Others?"

"Not yet," River said.

"Was … one of them a Preacher?"

"Yes."

"The one we spoke of back at Bathgate Abbey?"

She nodded. "Shepherd Book."

"He … the Captain said he killed him. Did he?"

"No. But he thinks he did."

"I don't understand."

"We help each other on board Serenity," River said softly. "Save each other."

"Then I'm glad I could be of assistance." He really didn't understand, but the nausea was prickling at him again. He picked up his water and got to his feet. "I think I'd better lie down for a while."

"I'll call you when it's time for dinner."

Jethro put a hand to his stomach. "No, please, that won't be necessary." He turned and left the galley.

River watched him go, her eyes dark and full of confusion. This wasn't it. Whatever was going to happen, whatever the reason was for him being here, this wasn't it. But she still couldn't see what it was …

-x-

Mal lay on his chest, his shirt discarded on the counter, while Simon checked over the burn on his back.

"This gonna be another scar?" he asked, then jerked. "Ow!"

"Just checking the nerve damage hadn't gone further than it appeared," the young doctor said, putting down the probe he'd just poked the captain with. "And yes, you'll have another scar to add to your collection. I'd say you had one of each now."

"Don't you go getting tetchy with me, doc," Mal said. "I'm still captain here."

"Laser burns, bullet holes, knife wounds, sword thrusts, and now frostbite …about the only one you don't have is stretch marks from giving birth." He pressed a weave carefully down. "There. You'll live."

"Good," Freya said from the doorway. "And is there anyway we can rectify that stretch mark thing?"

Simon grinned at her. "Let me look into it."

Mal sat up and turned to look at his wife. "You think I should get pregnant next time?" he asked.

"Well, turnabout is fair play," she said, moving closer to him.

"If I could …" He smiled at her then climbed carefully from the medbed. "Thanks, Simon."

"You're welcome," the young man said. "And don't forget to come back for another shot in the morning."

"Shot?" Freya asked, looking from one to the other.

"They all got a dose of radiation," Simon explained. "I'm just making sure it clears their system."

Freya made a big show of taking a step backwards. "He's gonna glow in the dark?"

"Well, that could be interesting, but no."

"Pity."

"Hey, this is me we're talking about!" Mal put in. "Ain't no way I wanna glow in the dark."

"I'd be able to find you though, wouldn't I?" Freya said, stepping close again and putting her hand on his bare chest.

"Hey, I ain't forgiven you yet for disobeying orders," Mal said, pushing her away. "I told you to leave us."

She looked at him, her eyebrows raised. "Did you?" she asked innocently.

"You know I did. Through River."

"Oh. Was that what you said?" She smiled. "River wasn't being very coherent at the time. She must have got it wrong."

Mal glared at her, then his gaze softened. "I'm glad you did, though." He pulled her close.

"Disobey orders?"

"Mmn. Just don't do it again." He leaned down and kissed her lightly.

"If you say so, captain," she said, smiling.

"Oh, go," Simon said, making shooing motions. "You're cluttering up my sickbay, and I have things to do."

"Simon …" Kaylee stopped in the doorway. "Oh. Sorry." She grinned, but her face was a little flushed.

"You okay, _mei-mei_?" Mal asked, reaching for his shirt.

"Shiny, Cap'n," she said brightly. "Just want a …a word with my husband here."

"Just don't keep him too long." Mal smiled. "Seems like he has things to do."

"I won't."

Mal walked out of the infirmary, Freya a pace behind. She paused as she passed Kaylee, and reached down to lift her hand. There was a thermometer in it. Kaylee blushed even more.

Freya glanced at Simon. "Oh, yes, doc, I think you have things to do indeed." She grinned and followed her husband.

"What was all that about?" Mal asked as they headed up towards their bunk, buttoning his shirt as he went.

"Oh, just think they're going to be a bit … noisy for a while."

Mal stopped and stared at her, then glared down towards the infirmary. "You mean they're gonna sully my –"

She stopped him with a hand on his lips. "And I don't know why you're getting dressed again," she said conversationally. "I feel like making a bit of noise myself." She felt him grin under her fingertips.

"Woman, you are incorrigible."

"Absolutely," she agreed.

"Can I at least make sure we're on our way to Beylix?"

"Depends on how long it takes you." She put her hand on the bare skin over his shoulder blade under his shirt as he climbed the last of the stairs, scratching him ever so lightly.

"Just a …" He shivered. "I mean, I could just shout it down the corridor on the way."

"Good idea."

"And I was thinking about giving Jethro a share. Since he went and saved our lives, and all."

"I was going to suggest it."

"Really."

"Afterwards."

"After what?" He leaned on the wall outside their bunk.

She grinned. "Just get down there and shut up."


	7. Chapter 7

Jayne grunted, lowering the bar to his chest then raising it again, exhaling as he did so. His muscles strained, and the sweat stood out on his face as he pumped the weight, once, twice more, before even his body was screaming _enough_. He managed to get the bar back in its cradle and sit up, his arms trembling with the effort. He wasn't stupid – he knew he shouldn't be doing this without a spotter, not with the kind of weights he was using, but there wasn't anyone he could ask. Leastways, not someone who wouldn't want to talk to him about … things.

"Can't sleep?" Mal asked, having watched the big man for a good minute before speaking.

"Looks like I ain't the only one," the mercenary pointed out, glancing up at the captain standing on the catwalk above.

"Not me," Mal said, walking slowly down the stairs. "Frey's finding it a bit difficult to drop off at the moment, with Ethan and all. She asked me to get her a soother from the infirmary." He didn't add that she'd suggested he go and speak to Jayne on the way, give the big ox a chance to talk.

"She okay?" Jayne asked, pausing as he pulled the towel from around his neck.

"Still getting used to it," Mal admitted. "Ethan's good, sleeps through the night, but she's finding it trying with all the feeding and everything."

"My Ma had the same with Matty," Jayne offered. "Used to make my Pa sit up with the baby so she could get some sleep instead of worrying all night." He wiped his hands and grinned. "Though I'm surprised, now you can get sexing again, that she still can't sleep." He paused then added, "If you like I'll take a turn watching him."

"Um, thanks," Mal said, surprised. "I might take you up on that." He perched his buttocks on a nearby crate. "And sex don't come into it." He paused, thinking for a moment. "Well, not much. Mainly she worries she won't be a good mother."

"Freya'll be fine." Jayne stood up and stretched. "Ain't never seen one so good at taking the lost under her wing."

Mal laughed. "Not sure she's ever seen it quite like that."

"Well, I'm off to my bunk," Jayne said, turning to the stairs. "If you wanna work out for a while, be my guest."

"No, don't think I feel the urge right now." Mal watched him go up one step. "Though, before you go, I think we might need to have a quiet chat."

The big man stopped. "What about, Mal?" he asked with a sinking heart.

"You and River."

Jayne sighed, a sound that seemed to be dragged right from the soles of his boots. "There ain't no _me and River_, Mal."

"Not sure you're telling the entire truth there." Mal moved around enough so he could look at his crewman. "Not with you thinking Zoe said River when she actually said Vera."

"It ain't what you think."

"Then why've you been growling about like a moose that's lost its momma ever since Jethro came on board?"

Jayne sat down heavily on the bottom step. "I can't rightly say."

"Can't or won't?"

The big man looked at his captain. "Mal …"

"Only it seems to me you're the one who's finding it difficult not having her about."

"I got used to her, Mal," Jayne said, shrugging deeply. "She was always there, whatever I did. Once or twice I even woke in the night to find her in my bunk, just watching me. Got me real creepified, that did. But now she ain't there, 'n' I hardly ever see her, it feels like … like a piece of me's missing."

"You have any idea how that sounds?" Mal asked softly.

"I know." Jayne looked down at his hands, the big hands that had killed so many people he could never number them.

"So?"

He glared back. "I'm more'n twice her age, Mal. I can't even begin to think of getting involved with her, not like that. But she's done something to me, put some kinda spell on me, and now I can't get her outta my brain."

Mal crossed his arms. "Seems to me age don't have much to do with love."

"I ain't said anything about love," Jayne said quickly, shaking his head hard. "Love don't come into it. I just … got used to her, is all."

Mal looked at the big man and sighed inwardly. He hadn't realised it had gone as far as this, and he should have, but lately all he'd been thinking about was Freya and Ethan. Quite rightly, too, but as captain he should have noticed … "And Jethro?" he asked.

A flash of hostility crossed the other man's features. "Don't know what she sees in him," he grumbled. "Just a panty-waist idiot with a pretty face."

"I thought that was how you described Simon."

"Well, the doc's proved himself once or twice," Jayne admitted grudgingly. "But that just means now we got two of 'em. He ain't good enough for her, Mal."

"He saved our lives."

"No." Jayne was unyielding. "Freya did that. If she hadn't been so all-fired certain 'bout not letting you die, he'd never have come after us."

"You're sure about that?"

Jayne looked down at the towel twisted in his hands, like a neck he'd broken once. "Can't help it if'n I don't like him."

"I figured it's gone past that into pretty much active hatred."

"I ain't gonna space him if that's what you're worried about."

Mal tried not to smile. "Only if you were planning on hiding from River for the rest of your days, no."

Jayne looked back up. "Won't hurt him. Not unless he hurts her." Now his eyes were dark, certain.

Mal nodded. "Fair enough. And if she decides he's truly the man she wants?"

"Then …" Jayne paused. "Then I'll dance at their wedding," he said unexpectedly. "Only don't be anticipatin' me to smile whilst I'm doin' it."

"That's … generous of you." Mal was taken aback somewhat and he took a moment to pull himself together. "You do realise River wants us to take him on. As a member of the crew."

"Yeah. I figured that." Jayne's head sank deeper into his shoulders.

"And I've decided to give him a cut of the take from this job when we get paid tomorrow."

The big man's eyes flared for a moment, then dimmed again. "Guess that'd be fair."

"Long as you know."

Jayne nodded. "Look, can I go to bed now? Kinda sleepy."

"Sure." Mal watched as the big mercenary climbed to his feet and plodded up the stairs.

At the top catwalk, Jayne stopped. "Just so long as I don't have to talk to him, I reckon a Shepherd on board ain't gonna hurt," he said suddenly, his back to the captain. "Even if he ain't certificated." He hurried through the upper hatch.

Mal was so surprised he sat still for a moment. As much as it pained him to admit it, he actually felt sorry for Jayne. What River had done wasn't fair, for whatever passed for a reason in her pretty head, and now to turn her attention to someone else … well, Jayne was a man, and even if he didn't look like it, he had feelings.

Mal stood up. Things'd sure happened oddly in the last few days, and he just hoped tomorrow would be less interesting. Hitching his thumbs into his pockets he headed for the infirmary and the requested soother for Freya. At least there he knew where he stood. Or lay down. With enjoyable regularity, he added to himself, grinning.


End file.
